Hi Lili, https://lilibraidner.home.blog/2019/10/01/stories-on-trains/
Your story is really good. You captivated me with your inner narrator voice and with the way you expressed conversation. You really submerged yourself into giving examples of what you’ve seen on a train, the voices of other individuals, which I believe you illustrated in a plausible manner. Your opening line, “My head vibrates against the train window” I thought was interesting. The line had simple detail, yet it was not minimal and not overly expressed. It was done in a manner where you can simply just imagine someone’s head softly vibrating as it leans on the window of a moving train. Overall, great work with your blog, I hope you enjoyed writing it as much as I enjoyed reading it.
Alicia's Blog 